Missing Serena
by xoxokailey29
Summary: How Dan and Blair recover from a sudden death.


**Serena and Blair are best friends. Dan is Serena's ex-boyfriend but they stayed friends. Dan and Blair hate each other but stayed friendly to please Serena. Jenny is Dan's sister and she and Blair hate each other. Nate is Dan, Blair and Serena's best friend and Jenny's boyfriend. Eric is Serena's brother. Lily is Serena's mom. Rufus is Dan and Jenny's dad. Eleanor is Blair's mom and Cyrus is her step dad. Dorota is Blair's maid. Vanessa is one of Dan, Jenny and Nate's friends. Georgina and Chuck aren't important. ****:P**

It's been the six of them ever since Serena returned. Chuck moved to Hong Kong after his father died which shortened it to five. They've endured everything together. But what happens when one of them die?__What happens when the only one you have, is someone you merely put up with, to please another? To please someone who is now dead?

It was around Blair's birthday. Even though Serena and Dan had their on and off relationship, they stayed best friends. She was unsure on what she should do for Blair's 19th birthday, so she asked Dan. Even though there was a mutual feeling of hate between him and Blair, he suggested that they throw a surprise birthday for her. She thought it was brilliant, so she told Nate and he agreed. But the day that they were going to pick a venue, Dan had to take Jenny up to Hudson to visit their mom. After dropping off Jenny, he decided to go to the Van der Woodsen/Humphrey apartment. As soon as he stepped off the elevator, he knew something was wrong. Lily, Rufus and Eric were heading towards the elevator he was stepping out of. He was told that Serena was in the hospital along with Nate. They had been in a car crash on their way back from one of the venue choices. When they got there, Blair was sitting in the waiting room with Dorota. Jenny met them there and sat next to Dan. After sitting in silence for about fifteen minutes, a nurse came out. She looked down. She mumbled something and tears fell from her eyes as she saw all of the sad faces in front of her. Blair fell to the floor, not caring that it was dirty. She sobbed into her knees and Lily hugged her and cried almost as hard. Jenny and Eric held each other, crying. Rufus punched a wall and slumped into a chair. Dan cried. Not a small cry, but a long stream of tears running down his face that seemed like it wouldn't stop.

Eventually, it did. But Blair's didn't. She cried on her way home, she cried as she showered, she even cried in her sleep. She stayed locked up in her room, like some kind of princess locked in a tower. It wasn't until three days later at the funeral that someone saw her. Nate was let out of the hospital that day for the funeral. She sat in the back pew of the church, crying. While on the way back to the Van der Woodsen/Humphrey apartment, Dan stole a glace at her. She wasn't wearing her trademark headband. She wearing a simple black dress, her hair up it a bun and a small amount of makeup. Spread across the living room and kitchen was Dan, Jenny, Eric, Blair, Nate, Lily, Rufus, Eleanor and Cyrus. Nate, Jenny and Eric were all sitting together, but Dan sat alone. He sat there, looking into his glass as the discussion began. The Serena discussion.

"Where's Blair?" Nate said. Everyone looked around. There were mumbled 'I don't knows'.

"I'll go find her." Dan said, wanting nothing to do with the conversation. He looked into every room, but couldn't find her. Then, he walked past Serena's door. He stared at it for a moment then slowly approached it. The knob felt like burning metal as he slowly turned it and opened the door. There, lying on the bed against the headboard curled up in a ball was Blair. Not the usual put together confident Blair, but a bruised and broken Blair.

"Blair?" he said closing the door behind him. Her head popped up at his voice. She hadn't heard him come in.

"What do you want, Humphrey?" she said, wiping the tears off her face. She missed how Serena wasn't there to wipe away her tears. Whenever Blair cried, Serena would always magically be there to wipe her tears away.

"I just, uh, came to see if you were okay." He said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Well, you see that I'm not, so now you can leave." She said.

"Blair I… I miss her too." He said. At the mention of just the word _her_ she began to cry. He crawled across the bed and put his arm around her and rubbed her back with the other. She surprisingly didn't push him away. She just buried her face into his shoulder and sobbed like little kids do when they're five. Then, the door flew open and Jenny came in.

"Dan we-" she stopped mid sentence at the site on the bed. Blair quickly got out of his arms but still stayed close.

"Yes little J?" Blair said. Jenny ignored Blair and looked to Dan.

"We're going out to eat. Dad wanted me to see if you wanted to come." She said. He shot a look at the brunette beside him. After all that crying, her eyes were still filled with tears.

"I, uh, think I'm going to stay back this time." He said. She looked back and forth between him and Blair, mumbled a 'K' and shut the door as she left. The room was completely silent for a while.

"Thanks." Blair finally said.

"For what?" he said.

"For staying." She paused, looking into his eyes. "For not leaving me alone."

He didn't respond. She layed on her back and put her head on his shoulder. She looked up at him. Her giant brown eyes met his chocolate brown ones. They both started to lean forward and their lips crashed together. When they kissed, it wasn't slow or romantic; it was needy and tear ridden. His hand was at the nape of her neck under a blanket of brown hair and his other on her hip. Her tiny hands were tangled up in his hair as she pulled him in closer to her. Her hands slowly slid down his neck and chest to the hem of his shirt and she began to pull upward.

"Wait," he mumbled stopping her and breaking the kiss.

"Please," she said looking up at him, "Take the pain away. Even just for tonight, take the pain away." When he saw the tears fall from her eyes, he crashed his lips back into hers as she pulled his shirt the rest of the way up.

They woke up to hearing the door open and Nate and Jenny screaming "Oh my God."

Blair quickly stood up from the bed, taking the sheets with her since all her clothes were on the floor. Dan took a pillow to cover himself up but remained on the bed. Then, Eric, Lily and Rufus entered the room.

"Oh my God." All three of them said.

"Wha- what… what did you two _do?_" Jenny screeched. They both opened their mouths to speak, but nothing came out.

"Let's, uh, lets let them get dressed." Rufus said, taking everyone to the door.

"Dad." Dan said, but Rufus just shook his head toward his son. When the door shut, Blair looked at Dan. She looked embarrassed and sad, but not regretful. She gathered her clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. That's when the guilt hit her. She just slept with _Serena's_ ex-boyfriend in _Serena's_ bed after _Serena's_ funeral.

"Dan," she called out from behind the door. She couldn't bear to look at him. "Is my, uh, bra in there?"

"Ya." He called back after a few seconds.

"Can you just put it on the bed? And grab me some sweatpants from Eric's room?"

"Sure." She heard him mumble. She waited a couple of minutes until she heard him leave to come out of the bathroom. Lying on the bed was her bra, a pair of sweatpants, Dan's t-shirt and a note.

_You can't just walk around it sweatpants and a bra. You can throw it away once you get home. I don't care. It's old. Sorry the pain came back._

_-Dan_

She felt like crying. She knew that he cared. It was his favorite shirt. She put on her bra, slipped on the sweatpants and the shirt and put the note in her pocket. She slowly walked down the hallway with her dress and heels in hand. In the living room on the couches were Jenny, Nate, Eric, Lily and Rufus.

"Dorota will be here to pick you up in the limo in a couple of minutes." Lily said. Lily probably hated her. They all probably did. Well, except for Nate. Nate could never hate Blair. But yet, he didn't look her in the eye. None of them did.

When she got home, she went straight up to her room and plopped on her bed. She was exhausted. Not physically, but emotionally. She started to cry. And this time, there was no one to hold her. She was alone.

As Dan poured a cup of coffee the next morning, he thought about all of the events that had happened. How did he end up sleeping with Blair? Of all of the people to sleep with, Blair? Then, it hit him like lightning. He had sex with Blair. Unprotected. He bolted out of the loft and hailed a cab when he got outside. He didn't try to call her because he knew she wouldn't pick up. When he finally got to her apartment, Dorota looked shocked to see him.

"Mister Daniel, Miss Blair is not here. She went out." She said.

"Do you know where she went?" he asked. She shook her head. "Oh." He said looking down as he headed for the door.

"You… you can wait for her." Dorota called. He spun around and she led him to the living room. "Would you like anything to drink?" she asked.

"No thank you." He said and she left the room and headed upstairs. He waited and waited and waited. Then, after about an hour of waiting, the bell for the elevator rang and he heard heels clicking across the floor. He sprang up from his seat and nearly sprinted to her in the forayer.

"Dan." She said. She was wearing _his_ t-shirt with a pair of jeans and black heals with her hair down and a black headband.

"Blair." He said. They both stood there in silence. She went into the living room and sat down. He did the same.

"Is there a reason why you were waiting for me in my house?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, yeah." He said, remembering why he had initially come. "Blair, we, uh, we had sex…"

"Thanks for the information captain obvious." She said, "If that's all you have to say, you can leave."

"I'm not done." He said. "We had sex… and I didn't use a condom." He looked down.

"Dan," she sighed, "Dan, I… I've been on the pill for some time now." He looked up. "There's… there's nothing to worry about."

"Oh." He said, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. He had just totally embarrassed himself in front of Blair, the… What really was she to him? What was he to her? He got up and headed towards the elevator, but she stood up too and grabbed his arm before he could push the button.

"Dan," she said. Saying his name, it just felt so right to her. "Dan, please don't leave." He looked into her eyes. They were sad again.

"I… I…" he said.

"Please," she started to cry, "Don't leave. I can't be alone. You don't need to… do what you did last time. Just please…Don't leave." He pulled her into his chest and kissed her on the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight.

She led him up to her room, told him to make himself comfortable and left the room. He laid back onto the silk sheets and feather pillows. When she came back into the room, she had a bowl of pretzels and a movie in hand.

"I'm going to show you the best movie ever made." She squeaked plopping on the bed. He laughed. "What?" she said as she put in the movie.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I've never seen you so excited to watch a movie." He said once she sat next to him.

"Oh shut up." She said throwing a pretzel at him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he put his arm around hers. They ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie.

She woke up still in his arms but he was still asleep. She looked at his features as he slept, noticing a beauty mark below his eyebrow. When he woke up, he looked directly at Blair.

"Good morning sunshine." She said.

"Good morning." He said as he yawned. "You know, watching people sleep is kind of creepy." He smiled.

"Shut up." She said smiling back at him. Once again, their eyes met, they both leaned in and they kissed. But this time, it was slow and romantic but still slightly needy. When they broke apart, she bit her lip and stared up at him. He kissed her forehead and she put her head back on his shoulder.

"I want to stay like this forever. Just you and me. No one else's opinions or conclusions." She said. He laughed. "What?" she said looking up at him.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this from the girl who hated me two weeks ago." He said smirking at here. She just rolled her eyes. "But you're right." He said, "It's going to be hard. Especially with her family around." That made her want to cry.

"Do… do you think she'd be… mad?" she asked looking up at him. He gave her a strange look.

"I… I really don't know. I mean, we weren't together…" he said, trying to make the guilt go away.

"That doesn't matter!" Blair said sitting up. It was silent for a moment. "Dan, I… I don't think I can do this…" she said, not looking directly at him.

"What?" Dan said sitting up. "But… but _why_?"

"I… I just can't." She looked up. There was a look of disbelief on his face.

"Fine." He said, getting off the bed. "Then I'll go." He walked out of the bedroom.

"Dan. Dan!" Blair called after him down the stairs. "Wait! Dan!" But it was too late. He had already stepped on the elevator and doors had closed. She ran back up to her room and cried into the pillow which he had been laying on not but two minutes ago.

She couldn't call Serena for boy advice or to cheer her up. She couldn't call Jenny. After the whole "Queen B" situation, she hated Blair. Not Eric, not Nate, not Vanessa, definitely not Georgina. There was no one. Not a single person to talk to. She was truly alone.

Her mom was going to Milan for a fashion show and was taking Cyrus. She had the house all to her self. That's when she'd do it.

After she heard the elevator doors close from her room, she grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down a few last words. Then, she took the pair of metal scissors and rolled up her sleeve. She hovered the blade right above her wrist were you could see the purplish looking veins and slid it across. The thick ruby color liquid dripped all down her arm and onto her silk sheets. Then she felt lightheaded and fell over.

He was at the coffee shop with Nate and Jenny.

"So…" Jenny said.

"Jen, are you mad at me?" Dan asked his not so little sister.

"For what? Sleeping with the girl who put me through HELL during my freshman year? Not at all." She responded.

"Well, thanks for reassuring me." Dan shot back. Nate was the referee.

"C'mon guys. Can you at least _act_ civil?" he asked. Dan looked at Jenny. A smile slowly widened across her face which made him smile too. Then, Nate whispered something in Jenny's ear.

"What? No. There's no way…" Jenny said but Nate started whispering again. "All right. Fine." She said getting up. Nate got up to.

"Um, where are you going?" Dan asked.

"To get a bandana." Jenny said as she opened the door.

"For what?" he said.

He soon found out. They tied it around his eyes and said that they had a "surprise" for him. When they finally took the bandana off, he immediately recognized the location. Blair's house.

"What the hell are we doing here?" he said.

"You and Blair need to talk." Nate said.

"Ya. I mean, I might not like her, but you two make each other happy." Jenny said.

"I'm leaving." Dan said, but both Nate and Jenny stopped him.

"Blair!" Nate called. They waited a few moments but got no response.

"I'll look for her upstairs." Jenny said as she climbed up the stairs. Nate dragged Dan into the kitchen.

"Dan, listen." He said. "Now, I've dated Blair. I know she can be a handful but-" he was cut off by a loud, high pitched scream. Jenny. They both ran upstairs and looked for the origin of the scream. When they found it, they wished they hadn't.

Skewed across the bed was the brunette's motion-less body with a pool of blood coming from her wrist.

"C-call 911." Nate told Jenny. She ran off, not able to stare at her former idol. Nate looked at Dan. He was leaned over Blair's body, holding her face in his hands.

"C'mon Blair," he said, "Wake up." Her body stayed motionless. Nate put his hand on Dan's shoulder.

"Dan." He simply said. Jenny came back into the room. Dan ignored him. He grabbed Blair's shoulders.

"Blair, WAKE UP. Wake up! Wake up! Please wake up!" he screamed as he started to shake her shoulders. The tears that fell from his face mixed in with her blood.

"Dan!" Nate screamed pulling him away from the body. Jenny ran over and fell to the ground crying with her big brother.

When the cops finally got there, they said that she had cut herself with a pair of scissors about two hours before they got there. They also said that there was a note.

_Dear…_

_ Well, I don't really know who to make it out to. There's my mom and my old friend Nate who probably now hates me. Jenny hates me, Serena's whole family hates me and Dan hates me. I'm all alone. I now regret how cruel I was to you, Jenny. You were a true friend, but I didn't realize it until I had lost my best friend and already treated you like crap. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry to Nate. It was me you and Serena. But after she died I forgot about you. Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect daughter that you wanted. And now for the hard one. Dan. I'm sorry for, well… everything. You gave me true love but I threw it away because I was sad that Serena wasn't here and I took it out on you. _

_I'll tell Serena that you all say hi._

_You know you love me,_

_Xoxo, Blair_


End file.
